4th Grader: How come I cannot see your eyes, Ms. O?
Me: I don't know... They are where they're supposed to be.
4th Grader: No your other ones. The ones in the back of your head. My mom says she has them too.
Me: Can you see hers?
4th Grader: Not really, but she's like you and ALWAYS knows when I'm doing something bad. You tell me to stop before I even start.
Me: What would you like to be when you grow up?
Kindergartner: A chef. So I can feed all the kids.
Me: Which kids?
Kindergartner: All the kids I'm gonna have when I'm a grown up and have a grown up girlfriend that I love.
... Now that's what I call Family Planning.
Kindergartner: I'm thirsty.
Me: We'll take a break in 20 minutes.
Kindergartner: 20 MINUTES! ALL LIVING THINGS NEED WATER. AND I... NEED... WATER! I'M DYING!
Me: You'll survive another 20 minutes.
Kindergartner: I'm...falling... apart. I'm dying. I...need...water. (Slumps over desk.)
(End Scene)
Me: What are some helpful techniques when you are stuck on a multiple choice question ?
7th Grader: I don't know.
Me: Think about what you have done in the past.
7th Grader: I know what you want me to say; process of elimination, cross out answers that don't make any sense, etc. but I gotta be real with you Ms. O and tell you that "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe" usually works fine too.
4th Grader: It really all sank in, Ms. O. All those talks about controlling my body, my hands, my mouth. I'm gonna do it, I'm really gonna change.
Me: I'm so proud of you.
4th Grader: APRIL FOOLS!
...not funny.
